Aino.

I miss her so much that my stomach hurts and I think I might vomit because she's the only fucking person that knows. She just KNOWS and I need that right now. I need someone to just fucking get it. To be there the way that I need them to be and she always, always does that. She's always there even when I'm an irrational bitch and I'm cold and I'm sarcastic and really terrible she ignores it and tells me with that much more force that there is good inside of me and that she loves me.

I want to die. I don't have fancy words for it. I just fucking want to die. Dealing with the same shit day after fucking day. I can't be a blogger. I can't make it interesting. I can't keep you here. Why did I think I could do this? Why did I think I could do a relationship? I can't fucking do anything.

I don't want to be alone.

If I don't find drugs soon I'm going to fucking lose it. I can't do it anymore. Anything.